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FUNDIE CHEATSHEET
THE FUNDIE MISSION

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Welcome, Dear Fellows on this journey,

Come learn from my videos on Instagram, Tiktok, and Facebook.

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"But the dreamers of the day are dangerous people, for they think their dreams into reality with eyes wide open." - TE Lawrence

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From My Instagram

tialevingswriter

It’s Duggars versus Bates. Next-gen, different c

It’s Duggars versus Bates. Next-gen, different clothes, same script.

When I was a new mom listening to Gothard mentors, “back to the land” was big. Y2K was eminent. People were afraid of its new thing called the internet. They wanted to look old fashioned and live simpler lives. The Duggars debuted in jumpers and plaid dresses with wide collars. Michelle wore ruffles.

Fast-forward 25 years. The fashion changed, even for fundies. When I looked my old mentors up on social media, they had jeans on under their skirts. The Bates wear clothes that could from the mall, not the fabric store or old time mercantile. The girls wear pants. Kelly Jo’s been seen wearing a v-neckline and a belt—eye traps.

It can be tempting to think the fundies have improved. Maybe they’re not so bad, since they look more mainstream now.

But you guys send me stuff from the newer-generation accounts. The recruit lines, shame techniques, and defenses are word for word the same. The target is the same: vulnerable families who want good outcomes for their children. Men who want control. Women who want to keep life steady.

Just because they’ve changed their clothes doesn’t mean anything’s different at the core.

#duggars #bates #19kids #bringingupbates #fundies #fundy #christianfundamentalism #y2k #y2kfashion #y2kaesthetic #littlehouseontheprairie #bobjones #billgothard #iblp #mentors #gkgw #smallgroups #southernbaptist #independentbaptist #penecostal #tradwife #tradmarriage #traditionalwife #sundayschool #cult #cultish #cultrecruit #religioustrauma #evangelism #exvangelical

A post came across my feed last week that stopped

A post came across my feed last week that stopped my scroll. I felt the images bring something up inside of me—where I felt it in my body was in my stomach, just above my belly button, and in my throat, at the base of my tongue.

Breathe. Pause.

When I have to breathe through a body response, I’ve learned that what’s happening points back to something else inside of me. Possibly a traumatic memory, probably baggage, most often with intuition. These photos didn’t land right and I didn’t immediately know why. Finding my words required time, investigation, and sitting with the feeling, breathing them through.

This isn’t an uncommon situation. Since I began questioning my faith 20 years ago and began addressing trauma 15 years ago, the deconstruction process broadened. Stuff comes up all the time. The difference now is that I’m working through it instead of flying off the handle and reacting.

Something I’ve learned about myself: I’m sensitive to influencer behavior. Coming from a religious trauma background, my body tenses when agenda is present—even a teensy bit of one. Even a subconscious one.

An influencers (self made and probably low paid) “job” is to influence. If they’re good at it, they’re branded, with a crafted aesthetic and mindful of their messaging. We all (even authors lol) do this to some extent. The social platform requires it and a whole generation came of age swimming in it. The distinction between trustworthy and manipulative messaging is honesty.

My questions led me to this:

🐂💩 when an influencer calls a carefully honed aesthetic “random,” or “spontaneous”

🐂💩 When a gathering of free thinkers suddenly has gurus and gatekeepers

🐂💩 When an old “friend” makes contact but wants me to host a party for her “business opportunity”

🐂💩 when someone says “all are welcome” but every attendee looks the same

You get the idea. Deconstruction is habit forming. Questions lead to answers and healing.

#deconstruction #exevangelical #purityculture #purityculturedropout #puritymadesimple #religioustrauma #questioningfaith #behonest #exmormon #exjw #exchristian #inquiry #somatictherapy #traumahealing #intuition #saywhat

So many stories poured into my DMs of older siblin

So many stories poured into my DMs of older siblings raising their youngers, in servitude of their fundie parents, to support the quiverful movement.

This Live is for you. Dr. Laura Anderson, who co-founded the Religious Trauma Institute and is head of the Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery, is also my dear friend and a fellow fundie survivor. She’s joining me on January 14 at 7pm here to specifically address and explore parentification— what it is, the impact it can have, and how to heal. She’ll answer your questions and we’ll have a great big conversation about this element of fundamentalism that’s so frequently overlooked.

I hope you’ll join us! For updates and more on why I think doing it Duggar-style is dangerous, sign up for my Behind the Scenes newsletter, link in bio.

@drlauraeanderson @traumaresolutionandrecovery #religioustrauma #duggars #duggarfamily #fundies #traumarecovery #parentification #sistermoms #siblings #siblinglove #batesfamily #parentfail #19kids #19kidsandcounting #janaduggar #iblp #billgothard

We’re talking about the parentification of older

We’re talking about the parentification of older siblings in Duggar-style fundamentalist homes. With religious trauma therapist @drlauraeanderson

Want to hear a story of defiance? I bought this

Want to hear a story of defiance?

I bought this issue of Martha Stewart Living in 2005. The year before, my Calvinist fundamentalist husband announced we were no longer “Christmas keepers.” Holding one day more sacred than another went against his rigid theology. Christmas is my favorite holiday.

I had no control in my marriage at that point, and very little influence. What I did have was creativity, resilience, and a stubborn streak to provide happy holiday memories for my kids.

So began my rebellion. This issue is called “holiday” cookies, not Christmas. There are tons of recipes beyond gingerbread and sugar cutouts.

I hung garland from our window sashes that year, since we couldn’t have a tree. Ornaments hang nicely from “winter garlands.”

I sent out “annual” cards. We had cozy “story time” with cocoa and cookies in the evenings. We had a “special dinner” on Christmas Day.

All-told, the Calvinist years were only a few. The kids barely remember them. Every year this booklet comes out and I bake thumbprints, rum balls, wedding cookies, chocolate crinkles, molasses cookies, sugar cut outs, and more. My children remember mom makes their favorite Christmas cookies.

My subversion led to courage I eventually drew from when we got out. Maybe a holiday book of recipes doesn’t seem like much but there’s a reason why I’ve held onto it this long. Martha helped me beat bleak old cranky John Calvin and I’ll never forget it.

#christmaskeeper #keepingchristmas #christmascookies #marthastewart #holidaybaking #holidaycookies #calvinism #exevangelical #domesticabusesurvivor #grinch #calvinismsucks #dominiontheology #fundamentalismsucks #religioustrauma #merrychristmas #merryandbright #christmasmemories @marthastewart

Sometimes the headlines slither through so quietly

Sometimes the headlines slither through so quietly. Right now, while the news is focused on Ukraine and war, the Christian patriarchs are playing the long game. Voddie Baucham is up for president of the Southern Baptist Convention.

He’s popular with Baptists at the moment—he just released a book on Critical Race Theory. I’d bet a lot that most of them don’t know what else comes for the ride with him.

Voddie is a dominionist and complementarian, like MacArthur and Piper, but even more severe. He’s open about day-long spanking sessions, strict gender roles, breaking children down, and stay at home daughters. The best-known SAHD is Jana Duggar.

This movement forces grown daughters to remain home and in the service of their fathers, so that he can receive the attention of a younger woman, and so she can stay under his authority until her husband is found via courtship. SAHDs are imprisoned, deliberately undereducated, and enslaved. Patriarchs don’t hide this—in 2007 Vision Forum produced Return of the Daughters. Look it up on YouTube.

The SBC has 15 million members and millions more under their evangelical influence through seminaries and adjacent denominations. A president like Voddie is strategically planning to return America to 1800s values. Women and children will have no rights. Christian Nationalism and dominionism is the end goal. This is how fundamentalism takes the mainstream.

Want to know more about why Christian Fundamentalism is so dangerous and how it spreads? Grab my free FUNDIE CHEATSHEET, link in bio.

#duggars #janaduggar #voddiebaucham #southernbaptists #sbc #reformedbaptist #calvinism #sahd #stayathomedaughters #michaelpearl #trainupachild #quiverfull #handmaidstale #gilead #fuckthepatriarchy #19kids #19kidsandcounting #bringingupbates #iblp #billgothard #christianfundamentalism #fundies #womensrights #gayrights #humanrights #johnpiper #johnmacarthur

I’ll be sending my letter out in a couple of wee

I’ll be sending my letter out in a couple of weeks. Quarterly and heartfelt turned out to be the way to go for me. I look forward to writing it and sharing content with friends, connections, and readers who care about what I write enough to step off the social media algorithm. It’s that “moment,” I value so much, you know?

The sign up. The deliberate connection.

Because I’m “just” a writer. I don’t have merch to market or classes to offer. No marketing flows in place. I’ll always value mental health and writing craft over performative content on a corporate-owned platform. I trust my best ideas grow strongest in the dark soil. So, figuring out the best newsletter format was hard. But quarterly and heartfelt, personal and sincere turned out to be the best for me. I hope for you too.

(Writers who hope to have readers and someday offer books must have a list.)

Anyway, the Christmas letter is coming soon. I always give away a short story at the holidays too. If you don’t already subscribe, I hope you’ll sign up.

Two newsletters I love receiving and always read every word are:

Revising U by @lisacooperellison . Every issue is packed with writing craft advice and valuable coaching.

The Crypto Connection by @saraceli . I’m new to crypto and like to wade in gently. Sara’s guidance insightful and not intimidating.

If you’re new to my website, I have a new look and some changes. I’m always tweaking that place in bits. Like me, a work in progress.

TiaLevings.com
Link in bio

Happy Saturday, friends.

#authorsofinstagram #flodesk #authorplatform #amwriting #shortstorywriter #creativenonfiction #essaywriter #memoirwriting #stayconnected

I think this isn’t gendered. However, historical

I think this isn’t gendered. However, historically it’s been easier for men to brazenly tell their truth. When a woman does it, especially in a repressed environment like Christian fundamentalism, she’s really ripping off the fucking scab.

My favorite thing to come out of my conversations today on here and on TikTok is that in hearing others’ experiences, it’s opening minds to consider viewpoints they hadn’t before. All I did was open space for the truth to be told. You told yours. In the listening, the doors open. All of us are less alone.

On Sunday, I was reading during my meditations when Adrienne Rich’s poetry was mentioned. Specifically her poem, Integrity, which begins “A wild patience has brought me this far.” It took my breath away and I began a deep dive into her work. That led me to this quote. I had to share it with you. It’s literally what we did today. ❤️

Looking for the posts?

🔵 reel on the Duggars and sex education is in my reels and in the previous post

🔵 story contributions are saved in my highlights

🔵 for more on why I think the Duggar lifestyle is dangerous, sign up for my Behind the Scenes newsletter at TiaLevings.com, link in bio

#adriennerich #tellthetruth #holdspace #duggars #duggarlife #19kids #traumahealing #religioustrauma #patriarchy #fuckthepatriarchy #sexeducationnetflix #19kidsandcounting #fundies #traditionalfamily #lovewins #womensrights #feministpoets #feminism #intendedforpleasure #purityculture #purityculturedropout #deconstruction

Loved this warm, funny, and informative evening—

Loved this warm, funny, and informative evening—we’re lucky to have Stacey Abram’s brain and passion! She’s one of my favorite Americans.

From my notes:

🇺🇸 Authoritarianism happens through the erosion of the systems designed to protect us.

🇺🇸 States are trying to go rogue—refusing to accept the outcome of an election. We must make it easier to register, vote, and have that vote counted to protect democracy.

🇺🇸 When politics is done right, it’s about how to help people.

Fuck is the most versatile of the curse words ❤️💯

🇺🇸 “Ready” is when you’re willing to ask smart questions and listen to the answers.

Also!! She shared her writing process!! Eleven books!! 😍😍😍

@staceyabrams #staceyabrams #conversations #vote #votersrights #theflagisforallofus #patriotism #activism #womensupportingwomen #writerscommunity #amwriting #romancewriters

I was young and vulnerable when my first baby was

I was young and vulnerable when my first baby was born. My husband was volatile and not equipped to be a “head of household,” yet he craved reformed theology and authority. Still in shock from the realities of marriage to him, I was also desperate for guidance on how to maintain peace in our home so my baby would have a happy childhood.

Enter the Gothard mentors. They all had 8+ kids, clean, smiling and cooperative. They had firm answers to my endless questions. I thought they were model mothers and I inhaled their advice—all so uniform and scripted, legitimized by Bill Gothard’s red textbook and huge Headquarters, basic seminars and annual conferences.

Their secret was that fundie families don’t “do it all.” What the world says children need is often in conflict with the quiverful, no birth control mentality, so there’s a lot of what outsiders would consider to be ordinary parenting responsibilities that we just didn’t do.

I’m going to be sharing these in a new video series. The style will be a little different because I’m going to quote the actual conversations I had with those mentors. Sometimes they’ve made enough arguable-sense that I couldn’t disagree and I want to show you how that fell on my young and vulnerable ears.

The Duggar lifestyle, the Christian fundies, preys on needy, hurting people who desperately want good outcomes for their children. They exploit that desperation to gain control. Gothard’s IBLP is more than a weird cult—it’s a powerful influence in America and this is how they gain followers.

Want more on why I think the Duggars are dangerous? Sign up for my newsletter, link in bio.

#duggars #duggarfamily #quiverfull #billgothard #iblp #bigfamilies #bigfamiliesrock #youngmom #motherhood #motherhoodunplugged #fundies #batesfamily #plathville #basiclifeskills #momadvice #momtomom #childdevelopment #religioustrauma

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