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Welcome, Dear Fellows on this journey,

Come learn from my videos on Instagram, Tiktok, and Facebook.

Favorite Quote

"But the dreamers of the day are dangerous people, for they think their dreams into reality with eyes wide open." - TE Lawrence

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From My Instagram

tialevingswriter

I think this isn’t gendered. However, historical

I think this isn’t gendered. However, historically it’s been easier for men to brazenly tell their truth. When a woman does it, especially in a repressed environment like Christian fundamentalism, she’s really ripping off the fucking scab.

My favorite thing to come out of my conversations today on here and on TikTok is that in hearing others’ experiences, it’s opening minds to consider viewpoints they hadn’t before. All I did was open space for the truth to be told. You told yours. In the listening, the doors open. All of us are less alone.

On Sunday, I was reading during my meditations when Adrienne Rich’s poetry was mentioned. Specifically her poem, Integrity, which begins “A wild patience has brought me this far.” It took my breath away and I began a deep dive into her work. That led me to this quote. I had to share it with you. It’s literally what we did today. ❤️

Looking for the posts?

🔵 reel on the Duggars and sex education is in my reels and in the previous post

🔵 story contributions are saved in my highlights

🔵 for more on why I think the Duggar lifestyle is dangerous, sign up for my Behind the Scenes newsletter at TiaLevings.com, link in bio

#adriennerich #tellthetruth #holdspace #duggars #duggarlife #19kids #traumahealing #religioustrauma #patriarchy #fuckthepatriarchy #sexeducationnetflix #19kidsandcounting #fundies #traditionalfamily #lovewins #womensrights #feministpoets #feminism #intendedforpleasure #purityculture #purityculturedropout #deconstruction

I was young when I realized what my church was tea

I was young when I realized what my church was teaching was that Christians should take over the world. But I was part of that. I thought I was on the right side, that everyone else just didn’t know what was best for them, the way we did, and ultimately they’d be grateful.

When I was newlywed and into reformed theology and fundamentalism more deeply, I learned this quest had a name: Dominionism. And like any strong medicine, the dose could go down easily through cooperation—or with a fight, if necessary.

By the time I’d left fundamentalism and was on that “other” side, I’d learned to empathize and identify with the large population who does NOT want Christianity to take over the world, and to be forced to make their values ours. But in a lot of ways, my realization felt too late. What “Christianity” meant had changed. And the quest for power took on a rabid, hate-fueled tsunami. Watching Christians I once worshiped with be willing to do “whatever it takes” to be in power gutted and broke me.

Southern old time religion in the SBC 40 years ago seemed sweet. Calvinism in the 90s seemed devout. Fundamentalism in the 00s was sad and harsh. But they’re all founded off the same evangelical motive: conversion and dominance, not freedom.

Want to know more about Christian Fundamentalism’s endgame? Grab my free pdf THE FUNDIE MISSION, link in bio.

#religion #dominion #dominionmovement #christianfundamentalism #exevangelical #deconstruction #exvangelicalcommunity #jesusandjohnwayne #pluralism #progressivechristianity @kristin_dumez

Holding space for your stories is a humbling respo

Holding space for your stories is a humbling responsibly and honor. So my mama-bear inner fire lights up when I see the line crossed into exploitation.

My friend Christy Thomas (@everyday_runner_christy) and I were talking about it. She works with military spouses and families and sees the same thing in her world. Journalists and tabloids both love a good military story. But the story sharing can quickly slide into an icky feeling of sensationalism.

Professional journalists often do better with this because they’re trained. They have standards to meet. Tabloid hacks sorta just skip that.

Being able to finally shed light on painful darkness is freeing. It’s also vulnerable and nerve-wracking, re-activating and tender. Discussion comes with responsibility.

Sharing should feel like relief…not re-victimization. Attention-seekers home in painful details of abuse, amplify “what happened” and then move onto the next terrible thing or juicy story.

Those places are not safe. I don’t find them particularly helpful or educational either.

There’s sharing that helps and sharing that harms. I hope this helps you identify the difference.

#traumahealing #sensational #duggars #duggarfamily #19kids #19kidsandcounting #religiousabuse #spiritualabuse #survivors #religioustrauma #advocates #iftheshoefits #believesurvivors #ownvoices

I was young and vulnerable when my first baby was

I was young and vulnerable when my first baby was born. My husband was volatile and not equipped to be a “head of household,” yet he craved reformed theology and authority. Still in shock from the realities of marriage to him, I was also desperate for guidance on how to maintain peace in our home so my baby would have a happy childhood.

Enter the Gothard mentors. They all had 8+ kids, clean, smiling and cooperative. They had firm answers to my endless questions. I thought they were model mothers and I inhaled their advice—all so uniform and scripted, legitimized by Bill Gothard’s red textbook and huge Headquarters, basic seminars and annual conferences.

Their secret was that fundie families don’t “do it all.” What the world says children need is often in conflict with the quiverful, no birth control mentality, so there’s a lot of what outsiders would consider to be ordinary parenting responsibilities that we just didn’t do.

I’m going to be sharing these in a new video series. The style will be a little different because I’m going to quote the actual conversations I had with those mentors. Sometimes they’ve made enough arguable-sense that I couldn’t disagree and I want to show you how that fell on my young and vulnerable ears.

The Duggar lifestyle, the Christian fundies, preys on needy, hurting people who desperately want good outcomes for their children. They exploit that desperation to gain control. Gothard’s IBLP is more than a weird cult—it’s a powerful influence in America and this is how they gain followers.

Want more on why I think the Duggars are dangerous? Sign up for my newsletter, link in bio.

#duggars #duggarfamily #quiverfull #billgothard #iblp #bigfamilies #bigfamiliesrock #youngmom #motherhood #motherhoodunplugged #fundies #batesfamily #plathville #basiclifeskills #momadvice #momtomom #childdevelopment #religioustrauma

Way back in 2002 or 3, I saw an article in Parents

Way back in 2002 or 3, I saw an article in Parents Magazine highlighting the Duggar family. Underneath the cheery presentation of a family all dressed in red, walking in a line, touting their happy, orderly home, was a nasty and painful underbelly I knew first hand.

I instantly recognized their religious practices:

🔴 Harsh discipline for conformity

🔴 Deep emotional suppression

🔴 Abuse and shame

🔴 Authoritarian control

I knew in a glance that Michelle and I belonged to the same high-control religious group and followed the same teachers: IBLP. Bill Gothard. Michael Pearl. Doug Phillips and Vision Forum. Doug Wilson. I was surprised they were in a mainstream magazine like Parents, which was forbidden. They were selling and proselytizing in a space we weren’t allowed to engage in. I didn’t think that would fly.

I was wrong. Jim Bob sold his family for TV fame. He somehow sold the image and let reality TV cameras into his home, exploiting his children. Viewers watched the shiny happy facade without realizing the horrors behind the scenes, under the jumpers, in the closets. People ate it up.

“Oh look at that big beautiful family. They don’t mean any harm. Live and let live.”

Patristic violence is right under your nose. Women have no rights in the fundamentalist world. Women and children are tools. It’s violent, shame-driven and appalling.

Josh Duggar was a child on TV, once. Someone formed him into a monster. His wife is absolutely a victim. This trial is the natural end of things. I hope people are listening.

#duggarfamily #duggartrial #quiverfull #religioustrauma #domesticviolence #genderviolence #narcissisticabuse #annaduggar #fuckthepatriarchy #visionforum #instituteofbasiclifeprinciples #billgothard #dougphillips #dominiontheology #reformedtheology #exfundie #exevangelical

Do you know the names of your chains? Mine are i

Do you know the names of your chains?

Mine are in my manuscript, one toxic shepherd to the next.

…the radio host with worldwide reach and the spank campaign. The crusader who filled stadiums. The angry faced fat men who wanted women smiling and quiet. The perv who preached about orgies.

The righteousness salesman with his red textbook and institute. The wannabe actor who settled for elaborate games of dress up and headship instead. The convention presidents who ratified patriarchy and shamed women who were raped. The reformer with his basement tapes and dirty secret men’s forum.

The gravel-voiced sex-obsessed pastor who taught men penetrate, women accept, and pleasure means she’s not submissive. Covenantal control freaks who didn’t like women who spoke, wrote, or refused to conform. The spankers, the haters, the misogynists and shamers.

The underling mentors who used private confessions as case examples. The purity police. The prayer circle hawks. The gallery of jeering judges, who take issue even with cries for help. “Not good enough!” “Not fast enough!” “You can’t prove it!” “You haven’t done your diligence!” “You asked for it!” The women who kept other women in line.

Do you know the names of your chains? I’ve found it’s is the most powerful way to break them. Then, writing them down.

*special thanks to all who wrote me after my previous post and who called out this line especially. You give me strength, love and hope.

#churchtoo #churchabuse #purityculture #toxicchurch #religioustrauma #metoo #wolvesinsheepsclothing #fuckthepatriarchy #exevangelical #exmormon #exjw #cultsurvivor #dougwilson #dougphillips #visionforum #billgothard #deconstruction #heretics #southernbaptist #catholicabuse #freedomfromreligion #toxicreligion
#duggars #quiverful #familychurch

It’s so easy to dismiss the Duggars as “fringe

It’s so easy to dismiss the Duggars as “fringe.”

To say The Handmaid’s Tale is “speculative fiction.”

To say “not my church.”

But the truth is that Christian Fundamentalism has influenced mainline evangelicalicism so throughly that the lines are now blurred. The scaffolding is evident in books like #jesusandjohnwayne by @kristin_dumez. The testimonies that fill my stories and highlights demonstrate how common the “fringe” has become.

Why care? Because laws can be changed. Reversed. Because in a generation, the liberation we take for granted can be destroyed. Atwood’s book wasn’t so speculative…she used real life fundamentalism as a model. Think America can’t become Gilead? Listen to fundie survivors. In many ways, and for thousands of women, it already is.

Want to know more about what’s really going on in Christian Fundamentalism? Grab my free FUNDIE CHEATSHEET, link in bio.

#duggars #handmaidstale #scotus #fundies #19kids ##19kidsandcounting #theinstitute #christianfundamentalism #cults #cultish #roevwade #womensrights #exevangelical #exvangelical #evangelical #christianhomeschool #southernbaptist #religion #reformedpresbyterian #era #womensliberation @mindshiftpodcast

We’re talking about the parentification of older

We’re talking about the parentification of older siblings in Duggar-style fundamentalist homes. With religious trauma therapist @drlauraeanderson

It’s not like they make us guess. Roe v. Wade is

It’s not like they make us guess. Roe v. Wade is a key in a lock on a gate to a path that leads to Christian dominion. They teach it actively in schools all over the world. They strategize and train. They groom. What they don’t do is hide.

And yet those of us out here loving religious freedom and plurality and independence and freedom and progressive Christianity naively trust they’ll be satisfied. They’ll stop. This won’t mean the end of contraception and gay marriage. Interracial marriage isn’t threatened. Pregnancy tests aren’t threatened. Women don’t go to jail for miscarriage.

Those things are already happening.

Fundamentalists don’t stop. There is no “enough” that satisfies them. This is why McConnell blocked Garland. Why Coney Barrett misrepresented her views. Why millions voted in a shiny golden calf to serve their hope this overturn would solve this.

Roe is the start of the dominionist plan. It was the hurdle they had to cross to unlock the gate. Its not the destination. Look at how they run their homes: that’s the goal for America.

Want to know more about what Christian Fundamentalists want? Grab my free pdf THE FUNDIE MISSION, link in bio. Also there—an NYT editorial section on how the restrictions on womens rights is playing out regarding miscarriage.

Slides on “how we got here” are from the excellent @jessicayellin

#roe #roevwade #handmaidstale #gilead #womensrights #christianfundamentalism #fundies #dominion #dominionmovement #reproductiverights #personhood #birthcontrol #autonomy #bodyautonomy #childsupport #duggars #19kidsandcounting #quiverfull #nolitetebastardescarborundorum

My friend John contrasted these images today. Neve

My friend John contrasted these images today. Never have I ever seen a more vivid depiction of how far American Evangelical Christianity has strayed from the love, compassion, and service Jesus embodied.

#betoorourke #nationalism #exvangelical #jesusandjohnwayne #lastsupper #thoughtsandprayers #whatwouldjesusdo #christianfundamentalism #commonsense #protectkidsnotguns #progressivechristianity

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