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Healing After Christian Fundamentalism

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  Tia Levings

HI, I’M TIA LEVINGS

I'm a former Trad Wife and Christian Fundamentalist, and together with my children, I narrowly escaped the Christian Patriarchy. Today, I'm dedicated to shining a spotlight on the realities of high-control religion and church-sanctioned domestic abuse and to the support of my fellow survivors.

My work includes a bestselling memoir, an educational platform on social media, speaking engagements, an anti-fundamentalist column, and bylines in major publications. You might know me from the hit docuseries on Amazon--Shiny Happy People---or the We Can Do Hard Things podcast. I love stories of survival and trauma recovery, and I believe we can heal.

I hope you find my work helpful.

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Yes, that was me in Shiny Happy People.

My reels are listed by category in this directory.

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"But the dreamers of the day are dangerous people, for they think their dreams into reality with eyes wide open." - TE Lawrence

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July was discoveries and changes of scenery, exper

July was discoveries and changes of scenery, experiencing summer in a way less possible for me when I lived in a hotter climate. I finished the legal copy edits for my new book and took a few weeks with a slower pace, traveled to celebrate EVERYONE IS LYING TO YOU by the gracious and zesty @jopiazzaauthor at @bnphillypa (shout out to her @nickasterphl Blue Steel) and launched a new side newsletter called The Happy Half on WTFundamentalist.

July was plants, nursery tours, sunflowers, markets, more of the Raleigh food scene, used book stores, and joy—every bit as true as the horrible headlines from the Christian Nationalist regime. They can’t have the whole of me: this photos are my defiance and resistance.

Oh, and in the Joy Resistance, we have rainbows 🌈 ❤️✨🔥

Another way to stick it to the patriarchy is to get a handle on your money and flip those old scripts. I was stoked to see my episode with Tori of the @financialfeministpodcast re-air and also catch her episode with Glennon, Abby, and Amanda on @wecandohardthings

What are your positive acts of defiance lately? How are you refusing to obey in advance?

Also- I signed gobs of A Well-Trained Wife for @daniellamyoung_ September book club and shop. They have stickers inside so check her out if you want a copy 🙌

#raleighauthor #awelltrainedwifememoir #everyoneislyingtoyou #sunflowers #traumahealing #photodump #tialevingswriter #religioustrauma #littlelibrary #littlelibrarywithabig❤️

James Dobson is still dead and that reminds me of

James Dobson is still dead and that reminds me of that we outlive our villains but also that you out-live them,

You can do what they said you can’t do,
You can last longer than they last,
You can love harder than they said you could love.

……………..

New book announcement coming September 2! Get my free FUNDIE CHEATSHEET at TiaLevings.com

A WELL-TRAINED WIFE: MY ESCAPE FROM CHRISTIAN PATRIARCHY is available everywhere books are sold. I read the audio.

#jamesdobson #strongwilledchild #religioustrauma #tialevingswriter #awelltrainedwife #outlive #outlast #outlove #deconstruction #exevangelical #smashthepatriarchy #lovewins

I think that when Trump is bumbling along, butcher

I think that when Trump is bumbling along, butchering language, and offering confusing details that sound like there’s no plan, it’s easy to forget that the people around him have a very clear and concise plan to bring back enslavement.

While they flood us with a rapid newscycle of decisions, behaviors, and actions to reshape American society, we struggle to comprehend the “why” of it all.

All of it is a means to an end. Christian Fundamentalists believe in dominionism: that God appointed a white male patriarchal authoritarian power structure to have dominion over the world. Individual freedom, democracy, and diversity all threaten this worldview.

“How” they’ll do it: Project 2025 changes our laws and government. Social influence coaxes belief and cooperation. Thrupled with the cult of personality through Donald Trump, it will look like Christian MAGA is choosing these changes for themselves.

While MAGA’s enthusiasm for Aligator Auschwitz horrifies the rest of us, it’s evidence of the plan working.

A return to enslavement is a long-term strategy in Christian Patriarchy, promoted through theologians like Doug Wilson, who (until he softened his stance in 2020), maintained from the mid-90s that slavery was benevolent, kind, and biblical.

Modern enslavement won’t look like it did 150 years ago. The field and house slaves will be farm and hotel workers. The term will be “illegal.” The population will begin with Latinos from other countries because there’s the least resistance.

Post credits: @50501movement @theatlantic @katimae @aclu_nationwide @talkingpointsmemo @the.independent @politico

A longer form of this post is on Substack. For more insight into fundamentalist thinking, to go to grab my free pdf the FUNDIE CHEATSHEET, links in bio

A WELL-TRAINED WIFE is available in hardcover, audio, and ebook anywhere books are sold. It was an instant NYT Bestseller, Goodreads Choice, and Audible Canada Best of Year. It will help you understand how Christian Fundamentalism manifests in families, family cult systems, and our current national headlines.

#christiannationalism #fundies #smashthepatriarchy #dominionism #religioustrauma #biguglybill

BROKEN PROMISES BY AUTHORITARIANS I think what p

BROKEN PROMISES BY AUTHORITARIANS

I think what people who expect equality and integrity from leadership might not understand about Trump and his evangelical administration is that they are playing by the authoritarian daddy’s playbook.

Authoritarian daddies are never told “no.”

Authoritarian daddies don’t ask for permission from Congress.

Authoritarian daddies don’t face accountability.

They have immunity.

Authoritarian daddies put their fists down, strike first, and declare peace, by virtue of “because I said so.” Authoritarian daddies put their fists down, strike first, and declare peace, by virtue of “because I said so.” Authoritarian daddy gods spin their promises to make someone else’s choice the criteria for breaking it. Their character is dependent upon the behavior of others.

Then they say, “this hurts me more than it hurts you.”And evangelical MAGAs love when daddy tells them what to do.

For more insight into fundamentalist thinking grab my free pdf the FUNDIE CHEATSHEET, link in bio

A WELL-TRAINED WIFE is available in hardcover, audio, and ebook anywhere books are sold. It was an instant NYT Bestseller, Goodreads Choice, and Audible Canada Best of Year. It will help you understand how Christian Fundamentalism manifests in families, family cult systems, and our current national headlines.

#authoritarian #nomorewar #peacenotwar #authoritarianplaybook #religioustrauma #religiousharm #freedomfromreligion #brokenpromises #evangelicals #accountabilty #daddytrump

The Epstein case is such a mirror. It’s showing us

The Epstein case is such a mirror. It’s showing us who we really are as a society, and how we’re collectively falling into a pattern of believing abuse survivors…and then just moving on and walking away.

But if you’ve heard an abuse story, you’ve now entered the atmosphere around it. Your response is part of either what accepts or stops it.

What matters?

That you don’t wait for the survivor to do all the talking.

That you support them in their efforts when they write, speak, share, ask, and blow whistles on secret situations it took their all to expose.

That you amplify that exposure.

What I’m observing in the response to more transparency about abuse cases than ever before is that listeners and potential advocates are normalizing silence. Maybe they think someone else will do the heavy lifting. Maybe they have money involved. Maybe they’re afraid of what action will cost them. There’s probably lots of reasons.

But accountability isn’t just court and consequences. It’s also public callouts. Shared posts and virality. A change in vendors. Selective cancellations—which isn’t “cancel culture,” but financial consequences for unrepentant behavior. Leaving the church. Filing a complaint. Reporting harmful professionals to their supervisory boards. There are so many ways to show meaningful advocacy and support, and likely they are as individual as the situation and your relationship to it.

Reading and viewing are a start. Survivors who write and tell deeply appreciate all of it. But the hope is that what was said will result in action.

Please take it. Please don’t just walk away.

A WELL-TRAINED WIFE is available anywhere books are sold. Every living pastor within still has a pulpit today.

#epsteinlist #beleivesurvivors #believewomen #awelltrainedwife #accountability #advocates #religioustrauma #metoo #dvsurvivor #religiousabuse #exevangelical

BROKEN PROMISES BY AUTHORITARIANS I think what p

BROKEN PROMISES BY AUTHORITARIANS

I think what people who expect equality and integrity from leadership might not understand about Trump and his evangelical administration is that they are playing by the authoritarian daddy’s playbook.

Authoritarian daddies are never told “no.”

Authoritarian daddies don’t ask for permission from Congress.

Authoritarian daddies don’t face accountability.

They have immunity.

Authoritarian daddies put their fists down, strike first, and declare peace, by virtue of “because I said so.” Authoritarian daddies put their fists down, strike first, and declare peace, by virtue of “because I said so.” Authoritarian daddy gods spin their promises to make someone else’s choice the criteria for breaking it. Their character is dependent upon the behavior of others.

Then they say, “this hurts me more than it hurts you.” And evangelical MAGAs love when daddy tells them what to do.

Post credits: @salonofficial @lisandravcomedy @heathercoxrichardson @ffrf_official

For more insight into fundamentalist thinking grab my free pdf the FUNDIE CHEATSHEET, link in bio

A WELL-TRAINED WIFE is available in hardcover, audio, and ebook anywhere books are sold. It was an instant NYT Bestseller, Goodreads Choice, and Audible Canada Best of Year. It will help you understand how Christian Fundamentalism manifests in families, family cult systems, and our current national headlines.

#authoritarian #nomorewar #peacenotwar #authoritarianplaybook #religioustrauma #religiousharm #freedomfromreligion #brokenpromises #evangelicals #accountabilty #daddytrump #daddy

Joel Webbon is collaborating with Elijah Schaffer.

KINDLE UNLIMITED—one of the joys of A WELL-TRAINED

KINDLE UNLIMITED—one of the joys of A WELL-TRAINED WIFE’s pub year has been seeing the ebook and audio sales, and how important accessible formats for a controversial and sometimes dangerous story can be.

Not every reader can have a vibrant hardcover sitting out with a title like mine. In fact, we’ve had several requests for a discrete sleeve to wrap her in for gifts to women who really need this book, but would face violence for having it.

It’s also fun to see the lines Kindle readers highlight! And the very creative way ebook lovers share visual content with their reviews. Authors geek for this, and I love it all so much.

Reader post credits: @what.jill.reads @spinesandstitches_ @readwithtoni

If you love tangible books like I do, the hardcover is on sale, but don’t forget your local indie book stores too. Many of them offer ebook and audio sales as well, if you’re into spending anywhere but the big stores. Authors are grateful for any and all readers—in a culture where fewer people read than ever, we’re glad everyone has choices.

A WELL-TRAINED WIFE was an instant NYT Bestseller, a Goodreads Readers Choice finalist, and Audible Canada Best of Year memoir. It will also help you understand what’s behind the theocratic takeover in our country, and how extreme views manifest in families.

My follow-up, THE SOUL OF HEALING: A Survivor’s Guide to Recovery after Religious Trauma comes out May 5, 2026.

#kindle #kindleunlimitedbooks #havekindlewilltravel #religioustrauma #dvawareness #exevangelical #bookreviews #goldenlines #favoritelines #readersgonnaread #bookstagrammer #bestseller #memoir #awelltrainedwife

If you follow my work, you’ve heard me say: We don

If you follow my work, you’ve heard me say: We don’t have to always cry our trauma out—we can also laugh it out. Dance it out. Yalp it out! Just get it out. Exposing abuse can be serious, but it can also be campy, witty, fiery, fierce, and full of snark.

Reading EVERYONE IS LYING TO YOU was cathartic because this book is all of the above. I know that when I can laugh at something that used to paralyze me with fear, I’m the victor. I won. That’s the plucky spirit I brought to EVERYONE IS LYING TO YOU, the juicy summer beach read that will help us all vent off some effing steam.

My words for the blurb came easily:

“Gone Girl….but make it trad wives.”

I have an interview with @jopiazzaauthor up at WTFundamentalist on Substack. Come check it out, link in bio, and TiaLevings.Substack.com

EVERYONE IS LYING TO YOU is officially out next week and available anywhere books are sold. My preorder arrived today!

#everyoneislyingtoyou #awelltrainedwife #tradwife #tradlife #summerbeachreads #suspensebooks #underhiseye #religioustrauma #complementarianism #traumahealing #laughitout #cherrypie #bookstagram #youlookhappier

The always/never binaries of a narcissistic person

The always/never binaries of a narcissistic person or system are a red flag for extremes and high control. In an effort not to be like them, we can deconstruct fundamentalist ideas and practices and rid ourselves of our own always/never polarities. We can learn to embrace the both/and of plural truths, and learn to avoid rigid extremes of either/or, right/wrong, and this/that. It takes practice, but we can learn to ask, “If that’s true, then what else is true?” and sit in the initial discomfort of holding cumbersome facts and experiences when we’re more accustomed and familiar to a narrow, soothing, “right way.”

The discovery of the gray area, a spectrum of bright colors, different approaches, to each their own freedom…. This is all liberating. We’re free! We’re open!

What experience is teaching me, though, is that there’s such a thing as too open. Too lenient. Too open to attack. Being an inclusive, accepting person has sometimes meant that high-control types find shelter with me, not so they can soften and grow in the grace that I offer, but so they can drain my life to feed their own need for control. They mistake kindness for a lack of boundaries, and when they agitate my values and inner drive for justice, they dislike the discovery of my spine.

Read more, including a quick primer on fundamentalism and narcissistic systems and personalities at WTFundamentalist, my Substack. Link in bio or TiaLevings.Substack.com

#boundariesarehealthy #narcissistic #npd #deconstruction #exevangelical #narcissisticabuse #growthedges #religiousabuse #religioustrauma #traumahealing #ethics #integrity #binaries

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