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TIA LEVINGS

Healing After Christian Fundamentalism

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  Tia Levings

HI, I’M TIA LEVINGS

I'm a former Trad Wife and Christian Fundamentalist, and together with my children, I narrowly escaped the Christian Patriarchy. Today, I'm dedicated to shining a spotlight on the realities of high-control religion and church-sanctioned domestic abuse and to the support of my fellow survivors.

My work includes a bestselling memoir, an educational platform on social media, speaking engagements, an anti-fundamentalist column, and bylines in major publications. You might know me from the hit docuseries on Amazon--Shiny Happy People---or the We Can Do Hard Things podcast. I love stories of survival and trauma recovery, and I believe we can heal.

I hope you find my work helpful.

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NO EXECUTIVE ORDER FOR GROCERY PRICES? I think som

NO EXECUTIVE ORDER FOR GROCERY PRICES? I think something progressives and democrats might not realize about evangelical MAGAs is how conditioned they are to accept broken promises.

When evangelical Trump supporters chose
a president who promised to take their
personal worries seriously, they were choosing in accordance to their faith.

This me-based faith is a feature of
evangelical culture. Believers are encouraged to ask God for “anything that’s on your heart,” from a prime parking space, to a promotion, to a new jet (in the case of celebrity pastors.)

Anyone outside of this culture can see how
me-based faith underscores the contrast
between the “haves” and “have-nots.” It may sound self-centered to your ears.

Rather than awareness or repentance, the evangelical response is an invitation. Outsiders are welcome to join them. Then, you too, can have access to a savior who cares about your personal needs.

The problem is evidence.

When Donald Trump was sworn into office,
and did not place his hand on the Bible
and signed nearly 100 executive orders on the first day and none of these orders addressed eggs, groceries, prices, affordable housing, or any other personal need of the average evangelical MAGA supporter...Democrats and progressives might expect evangelical MAGAs to feel disappointed or disillusioned. Maybe they’ll realize he doesn’t care about them at all?

But that’s just another day in the life for them.

For more insight into fundamentalist thinking grab my free pdf the FUNDIE CHEATSHEET, link in bio

A WELL-TRAINED WIFE is available in hardcover, audio, and ebook. It was an instant NYT Bestseller, Goodreads Choice, and Audible Canada Best of Year.

#economy #deconstruction #awelltrainedwife eggs #exvangelical #progressive #sciencebased #tradlife #tialevingswriter #theocracy #groceries

WHAT’S WITH THE ANGRY WINNERS? I think something

WHAT’S WITH THE ANGRY WINNERS? I think something progressives and democrats might not realize is that evangelical Trump supporters are unhappy winners because they’ve lost the target of their inner violence.

Trump’s campaign tapped into Christian Nationalist anger by convincing them “dems” were evil. He promised them an end to their suffering, and this promise aligned with their theology: a leader would rise and save them from their pain. It’s why so much of Trump’s campaign propaganda positions him as a triumphant messiah and strong, militaristic leader. They’d do anything to win—in politics or faith—which is the same in Christian Nationalism.

Many of them even turned on their own families, so convinced any Democrat deserved harm.

Almost immediately, Trump flipped on his positions and promises. He aligned with a foreign billionaire on immigration and admitted he couldn’t bring down the cost of groceries. His cabinet appointments betrayed his Project 2025 denials. The administration is riddled with sex offenders. The President will be a sentenced felon. And most of all, the vote wasn’t a wave. There is no mandate. They don’t have the majority.

Victory doesn’t feel like victory, and Trump is no messiah. But what’s a Christian with an itchy conscience to do about it?

They can’t repent because they aren’t allowed to change their minds. And as winners, they can’t admit defeat. But there’s no perceived oppressor to blame. They have no capacity or preparation to sit with the discomfort of anger that doesn’t have a target, and they don’t know how to look within. Ordinarily, they’d reach for Jesus—but Trump made Jesus sound too liberal. Nothing at church prepared them for this dilemma.

So they troll, sore because they’re still suffering, and no one in America wins.

For more on the hidden players and inside terms of Christian Fundamentalism, grab my free PDF, the FUNDIE CHEATSHEET, at TiaLevings.com and link in bio @tialevingswriter

#evangelicals #feelyourfeelings #sitwithit #religioustrauma #deconstruction #progressives

MOM FRIENDS ARE IMPORTANT. The lonely, vanishing y

MOM FRIENDS ARE IMPORTANT. The lonely, vanishing years of motherhood as I was mentored into Bill Gothard’s IBLP lifestyle are as painful as they were poignant. I constantly wondered how the other women were managing to pull it off—shutting down every question, doubt, and thought. Never having fun (I was only 22! 24! 28!) Never doing anything but serve, sleep, pray. Serve, sleep, pray.

At church, we had a nursing room where the women could talk. These turned into mentoring sessions. My hunger for friendships became a lesson. Serve, sleep, pray. And be careful what you say in the nursing room—-“the men start to wonder what we talk about in here.”

A valid part of the reason why in never confided to anyone the abuse I was suffering was because there were no friends to tell.

Today, women supporting women through networks, apps, forums, and underground railroads are where I’ll put my energy. Friends online saved my life.

Get A WELL-TRAINED WIFE anywhere books are sold, link in bio. @tialevingswriter and my free FUNDIE CHEATSHEET at TiaLevings.com

#duggars #bringingupbates #19kids #19kidsandcounting #momfriends #fundies #plathville #quiverfull #billgothard #iblp #christianmentors #christianfundamentalists #fundamentalists #loneliness #religioustrauma #traumasurvivor #tradwife #tradlife #sahm #depressionsupport

I encourage everyone who considers themselves part

I encourage everyone who considers themselves part of the “deconstruction” space recovering from religious trauma to read the GRACE report on TNE Reckoning.

TNEreckoning.com

WHAT IS THE SIN OF EMPATHY? I don’t think most

WHAT IS THE SIN OF EMPATHY?

I don’t think most Americans realize that when evangelical MAGA calls out “the sin of empathy,” it’s an internal dogwhistle to MAGA/MAHA mothers to hold the line.

I often say the patriarchy used what we wanted for ourselves against us. I think about this as I watch MAGA turn mothers against vulnerable children who desperately need advocacy. MAGA is a cult. It’s not unusual for women to leave cults once they realize the harm that can come to their children.

The evangelical patriarchy always doubles down on women to maintain control, convincing them their greatest strength is a sin. Their voice. Their vote. Their fierce protective instincts. Keeping women in line is one hand. Convincing women to work the line is the other.

When outsiders expect evangelical MAGA/MAHA Christians to empathize with hurting children, because of their faith in Jesus, they feel pressured to change their minds. But this expectation is reasonable. Jesus taught compassion. They claim to follow Jesus. They know faith without action is dead.

For more insight into fundamentalist thinking grab my free pdf the FUNDIE CHEATSHEET, link in bio @tialevingswriter

A WELL-TRAINED WIFE is available in hardcover, audio, and ebook. It was an instant NYT Bestseller, Goodreads Choice, and Audible Canada Best of Year.

#sinofempathy #empathy #empath #togetherwerise #motherpower #religioustrauma #smashthepatriarchy #culty #cults

CALIFORNIA FIRES, THE APOCALYPSE, AND CHRISTIAN RE

CALIFORNIA FIRES, THE APOCALYPSE, AND CHRISTIAN RESPONSE:

I think something that compassionate
democrats and progressives don’t realize about evangelical Trump supporters is how invested they are in the apocalypse.

Evangelical MAGAs serve a version of Christianity that delights in the suffering of their so-called “enemies.” And if they don’t delight in it, they see it as a relieving sign of coming rescue.

For every scripture they cling to about seeing their loved ones in heaven one day, the blood sacrifice of Jesus, prosperity in exchange for faithful obedience, or how wives should submit to their husbands, there’s a bunch more about cruelly vanquishing their enemies.

When Trump and his Fox News, manosphere podcast bros convinced evangelical Christians to hate “dems,” they were tapping into a Biblical narrative where Christians dominate and everyone else suffers.

It’s the lead into the apocalypse: worldwide annihilation after a period of tribulation, where evangelical Christians will be saved to blissful eternity with God and everyone else will burn, forever.

To evangelical MAGAs, the California fires
are proof that apocalyptic salvation is already happening.

Slide credit to @rickpidcock

To learn more about the hidden realities of Dominionism get my free pdf the FUNDIE CHEATSHEET at TiaLevings.com and link in IG bio @tialevingswriter

A WELL-TRAINED WIFE is my bestselling memoir of escape and healing from Christian Patriarchy. It’s available anywhere books are sold.

#prayforcalifornia #dominionism #7mountains #progressives #compassionate #religioustrauma #exevangelical #deconstruction

MARITAL VOTER SUPPRESSION. Voting, suffrage, and t

MARITAL VOTER SUPPRESSION. Voting, suffrage, and the 19th came up again, just last week from Doug Wilson. The thing that scares me the most when bills comes up that restrict women’s rights, equality, and democracy is how many people assume the solution is voting. In the short run, it is. In the long run, I beg you to look into the lives of the fundie Christian men pushing these agendas and what they think about voting.

Suffrage resistance, gerrymandering, the availability of open polls, voter ID—all of these battles are fruition of the core ideology: only white, wealthy, landowning men should vote. Patriarchs do not believe in democracy and equality.

How do you convince a young Christian mom who grew up with voting rights that she shouldn’t exercise that right? You shame her—for the way she uses her time, for the negativity that comes with hard discussion and politics. You remind her how important it is to be of a like mind with her husband and how her children will suffer if she doesn’t keep her place. You neutralize her care and passion by reminding her how hard it is to even get the kids all dressed and out for something so trivial as a vote that “doesn’t matter anyway.”

Then let 20 years pass and see how a county’s school board and city council and state senators and district judges and congress and the White House have changed with the men mostly voting and the women only promoted when the numbers are close.

That’s my experience.

Get A WELL-TRAINED WIFE in digital, hardcover, and audio anywhere books are sold. Link in bio. @tialevingswriter my free FUNDIE CHEATSHEET is at TiaLevins.com

#womenvote #voterfraud #votersuppression #suffrage #fundies #fundiesnark #christianfundamentalism #billgothard #iblp #votethemout #era #equalrights #toxicpositivity #handmaidstale #gilead #cult #cultsurvivor #culty #cultish #19th #19thammendment

Zelenskyy is a diplomat with self-control and temp

Zelenskyy is a diplomat with self-control and temperance. But I wish he could have stood up and left. As they say of abuse dynamics: “You can’t neogtiate with terrorists.”

“When people show you who they are, believe them.” Maya Angelou

Today, Trump removed any doubt.

And, with abusers behaving like that, America does not deserve to be considered a superpower or ally to anyone. This moment is fragility on display. It’s dangerous.

DARVO

Deny
Attack
Reverse Victim and Offender

If your body remembers what it’s like to argue with a narcissistic egomaniac who’s yelling their betrayal, solidarity. We saw what really happened. We know gaslighting is what comes next.

This is the most embarrassing moment of my American history. Yours?

#darvo #zelenskyy #standwithukraine #rightsideofhistory #narcissisticabuse #bullypulpit #mayaangelouquote

TURNING A NARCISSIST’S accusation into informati

TURNING A NARCISSIST’S accusation into information:

Dealing with a narcissist can feel crazy-making because their logic is circular and deliberately confusing, and it’s difficult to know what to trust and believe. Their accusations are often coupled with fear and a threatening undercurrent. But we can know what they’re up to by flipping their accusations.

Turn their accusatory statement around into an “I” statement. Then, see if the evidence matches what they are (now) telling you they are doing. And, remember ACTIONS ARE LOUDER THA WORDS

Elon’s actions are loud. He assumed control of our Treasury, payment processing, and related data. Why would he do that? The bulk of the speculation centers on the money—trillions annually. But there are other actions to consider. The evangelical fundamentalists are very interested in sector specific AI and i found that…familiar.

The whole deconstruction is at TiaLevings.Substack.com link in bio @tialevingswriter

#narcissist #npd #npdawareness #treasury #religioustrauma #endtimes #fundies #flipthescript

I’m not waiting for the next four years to be ov

I’m not waiting for the next four years to be over to live and be happy.

I’ve been there/done that with high control religion. As fast as I’m concerned, they took my past, but they’re not getting my present and future too.

I will tell on them. I will listen to the sounds of birds and crunchy snow. I will defend the disenfranchised. I will read and sing and dance under stars and summer leaves. I will make art and also buy art. I will support independent writers. I will honor my boundaries and regulate my nervous system. I will go slow. I will find other ways to connect and earn and accept.

When four years are over I will look back and see what we lived through. In spite of—delicious spite of. Being a survivor of religious trauma who has reclaimed my soul and healing means I take responsibility for my growth and happiness.

You? What are your plans? What’s your subversive hope?

#religoustrauma #traumahealing

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