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TIA LEVINGS

Shining After the Shadows of Christian Fundamentalism

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About Tia

HI, I’M TIA LEVINGS

I’m an author exploring anti-fundamentalism after church-sanctioned domestic abuse in high-control religion.

I appeared in Shiny Happy People on Amazon Prime, and my memoir, A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy, is coming out with St. Martin’s Press on August 6th, 2024

Welcome to my work.

I’m so glad you’re here.

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Videos

Yes, that was me in Shiny Happy People.

My reels are listed by category in this directory.

Come learn from my videos on Instagram, Tiktok, and Facebook.

Favorite Quote

"But the dreamers of the day are dangerous people, for they think their dreams into reality with eyes wide open." - TE Lawrence

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tialevingswriter

Isn’t it funny that most birdwatching photos are

Isn’t it funny that most birdwatching photos are of the bird that’s watched and not of the watcher?

Day 27 of #30happydays feeder

Why people piss off writers, I’ll never know. We

Why people piss off writers, I’ll never know. We say things. Writers tell. It’s what we’re here for.

“Having options is part of the free world outside of fundamentalism. Another reason I’m spiritually-private is because I believe this freedom should not be tied to static belief. People grow and change. Alienation and polarity disinterest me. I don’t think survivors should have less available to them because they don’t fit into someone else’s tidy box of beliefs. I’m affirmed I’m on a path of integrity when I’m supported by both Christians and non-Christians who center survivors and people over ideas.”

Read more about what got me 🔥🔥🔥🔥 at tialevings.substack.com link IG bio @tialevingswriter

This one goes to anyone harmed by a “not all Christians” dismissal or a “those weren’t real Christians” bypass.

ALSO::: if you haven’t preordered yet—there’s a special deal at Barnes and Noble! Preorder A WELL-TRAINED WIFE in any format at Barnes & Noble from 1/24-1/26 and get 25% off with code PREORDER25. Note, this discount is only available to B&N members but free memberships are available—learn more & sign up here: barnesandnoble.com/membership/ Already a member? Order your copy at: https://bit.ly/3Su4kZX

#notall #notallmen #religioustrauma #spiritualbypassing #beleivesurvivors #traumarecovery #traumajourney #spirituallyprivate #cptsd #exevangelical #exmo #exjw #religiousabusesurvivor #gaslighting #christianfundamentalists #fundies #smashthepatriarchy

I drew a line at used underwear. Handed down cloth

I drew a line at used underwear. Handed down clothes, often a decade old, we’re a blessing tho. The shaming around shopping and new clothes is part of how I started to look old beyond my years in my young twenties. I wasn’t good at sewing my own, even as a seamstress’s daughter, and I hated being made to feel sinful for wanting to at least shop the clearance rack.

This video shares the reasoning and advice I was given by my Gothard fundie mentors. Some of it resonated deeply in my heart—I wanted to embrace a natural, simple lifestyle that allowed me more time with my children. I wanted to live within our means, glorify god, and have a happily family. More than anything, I wanted to solve the abuse in my marriage and raise my children safely. Divorce wasn’t allowed, birth control was frowned upon, and my husband was erratic. Christian fundamentalism promised solutions.

Skipping these parenting responsibilities resulted in harm and neglect. I stopped when I realized the damage being done. But thousands of other families do not stop and the Duggars amplified fundie life on their show.

My life was saved through other women sharing their stories. They gave me courage to see with clear eyes and escape. That’s why I share now.

If you want to know more about why I think doing it Duggar-style is dangerous grab my free pdf the FUNDIE CHEATSHEET, link in bio @tialevingswriter

Preorder A WELL-TRAINED WIFE anywhere books are sold. PS —this is why I dream of my book being on the endcaps at @target

#duggars #19kids #19kidsandcounting #billgothard #fundies #duggarfamily #iblp #shopping #fashiontrends #modestclothing #modestclothes #quiverfull #traditionalcatholic #traditionalwife #homeschooling #target #targetdoesitagain
#targethaul
#targetshopping #tradwife #tradwives #domesticabusesurvivor #shinyhappypeople

Since January had 31 days, I put a button on the H

Since January had 31 days, I put a button on the Happy Days project but extending #30happydays to make the month feel complete.

This project always works for me; a standby tool in my mindset toolbox. I’ve expanded my view of happiness and joy, as well as what it means to heal trauma while living real life, discarding bypassing and toxic positivity. I was low at the end of 2023; the month has held struggle, sure, but the photos tell the story of what else was true.

What else is true? Is there a question that helps me more in the quest against fundamentalism and high control more? I don’t think so.

Pictured: @drlauraeanderson and I recording the @wisejezebelspod which is so redemptive and fun for us both. Day 31: Jez

I’m planning on doing this project for the 100 days leading up to the release of my book. Want to join me? The guide is in my bio @tialevingswriter

#changeyourmindset #mindsetchallenge #religioustrauma #traumahealing #happinessproject #documentyourdays #toxicpositivity #spiritualbypassing #bothand

While medical care in America is complicated and f

While medical care in America is complicated and for the most part, privileged, it’s the motivation of skipping well-checkups in order to make it easier that was so dangerous. Fundies are suspicious of medicine and doctors on the whole. As a mentee, skipping the pediatrician was one of the first lessons I was taught and looking back, it opened the door to so many of the other trad practices that would’ve raised flags of concern at a medical appointment or require we live in mainstream modern society. Like so many things, my mentors took nuggets of truth and common sense and distorted them into extremes.

This video shares the reasoning and advice I was given by my Gothard fundie mentors. Some of it resonated deeply in my heart—I wanted to embrace a natural, simple lifestyle that allowed me more time with my children. I wanted to live within our means, glorify god, and have a happily family. More than anything, I wanted to solve the abuse in my marriage and raise my children safely. Divorce wasn’t allowed, birth control was frowned upon, and my husband was erratic. Christian fundamentalism promised solutions.

Skipping these parenting responsibilities resulted in harm and neglect—the lifestyle that became what is known as the “trad wife life” now. I refused when I realized the damage being done. But thousands of other families do not stop and the Duggars amplified fundie life on their show.

My life was saved through other women sharing their stories. They gave me courage to see with clear eyes and escape. That’s why I share now.

If you want to know more about why I think doing it Duggar-style is dangerous, grab my free FUNDIE CHEATSHEET, link in bio @tialevingswriter

Preorder A WELL-TRAINED WIFE anywhere books are sold.

#duggarstyle #duggars #duggarfamily #batesfamily #fundies #pediatrics #childdevelopment #newparents #youngmoms #religioustrauma #quiverfull #bigfamilies #blankettraining #michaelpearl #19kidsandcounting #shinyhappypeopledoc #tradwife #tradwives #homesteader #gilead #smashthepatriarchy

Few things offer me a glimpse of the woman I might

Few things offer me a glimpse of the woman I might have become had I managed to stay in Christian Fundamentalism than the trad wife movement. I get chills when I see it and it’s taken me a while to know what I want to write about it—which is an extensive subject that deserves a lot more than a single post.

Like everything else in a particular movement or lifestyle, there are degrees of adherence. Not every trad wife is wearing prairie clothes or styling her hair like a MAGA pinup. This post is a skim of the top of what a trad wife is, what kind of monsters lurk beneath the veneer, and the power that fundie women find within a lifestyle that disempowers other women.

Trad Wife exposé content @kelseykmcginnis @mburtwrites @ashleytaylove

Link to the full article on The Anti-fundamentalist in my bio on IG @tialevingswriter and in the comments on FB

#tradwives #tradwife #tradwifelife #fundies #fundiesnark #duggars #iblp #shinyhappypeople #visionforum #billgothard #19kids #quiverfull #christianpatriarchy #smashthepatriarchy #christianinfluencers #awelltrainedwife #religioustrauma #authoritarianism #umbrellaofauthority #submission #passiveaggressive

“Now, sixteen years after the narrow escape that

“Now, sixteen years after the narrow escape that saved our lives, I can see fundamentalist “advice” for what it is: bullshit and bypassing that keeps women in danger by denying them any humanity or value beyond the roles they serve.

Now, when I see a woman sick and suffering, she doesn’t need to tell me what’s up with her faith or her husband. Somewhere, she’s been dehumanized. Somewhere, there’s toxic belief. Because healthy families help each other. Healthy couples serve one another. Healthy humans are allowed to rest.

But there’s another aspect to the inhumanity of trad wife life and I think we need to talk about it so we resist extremes, now in 2024 more than ever.

If you don’t want to be guilty of the same thing trad wives do to other women, you need to remember their humanity. Because more than bullshit and bypassing that turns women into commodities, the trad wife lifestyle is a means to an end.”

Read the piece on The Anti-Fundamentalist at tialevings.substack.com, link in bio @tialevingswriter

#tradwife #tradhusband #tradfamily #tradwives #tradwifelife #religioustrauma #gilead #housewife #christianpatriarchy #smashthepatriarchy #fundies #christianinfluencers #exvangelical #highcontrol #christiannationalism #feminismisforeverybody #awelltrainedwife #handmaidstale #authoritarian

My kids refer to the pets I’ve had over recent y

My kids refer to the pets I’ve had over recent years as “the one that replaced me.” There’s a dog when my oldest left for the Navy; a cat my daughter deposited in my office after her first duty station; the puppy that helped the last sibling and I over the hump of the third one’s launch.

Maybe it convenient timing, maybe it was subconscious. Either way, it’s now a recommendation. Empty nesting hurts. Sibling grief, for the ones left at home, is a lingering ache that we almost never talk about. I now advise moms to plan on 2 years of pre-grief letting go, 2 years for each child, and 2 years after the last one goes. Pets help. So does honing an interesting life after active motherhood.

Day 20: Georgia. #30happydays

#happinessproject #emptynesting #readytolaunch #activemotherhood #griefwork #walkwithdogs #newera #traumahealing #cptsdrecovery #cptsd #cptsdsupport

“Her pleasure in the walk must arise from the ex

“Her pleasure in the walk must arise from the exercise and the day, from the view of the last smiles of the year upon the tawny leaves and withered hedges, and from repeating to herself some few of the thousand poetical descriptions extant of autumn—that season of peculiar and inexhaustible influence on the mind of taste and tenderness—that season which has drawn from every poet worthy of being read some attempt at description, or some lines of feeling.”

— Jane Austen, Persuasion

January isn’t Autumn. But the South doesn’t know winter and so sometimes it feels that way. Day 15 was our evening walk, with night frogs and crickets and a host of other woodland beings that don’t know winter.

#30happydays #walkitout #healingcptsd

On Thursday evenings from January 18-February 8, f

On Thursday evenings from January 18-February 8, from 7-8 EST, I’m hosting a Zoom group to explore and address fundie influences and issues. The format will be warm and casual but the content will dismantle the struggle-bus we all sometimes ride after fundamentalist thinking wreaks havoc in our lives.

This is a bit of a test to see how the time slot and format work for a highly requested option. So, if it works well, I’ll keep it going.

Registration is limited to 8 and there are a few spots left. Link in bio @tialevingswriter

#religioustrauma #afterreligion #fundies #fundiesnark #traumahealing

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