Books & Art - Tia Levings, Author

Religious Trauma Resources
Behind The Scenes Newsletter

Home
News & Work
The Dear Fellow Letters
The Working Writer Podcast
Blog
Contact

Books & Art

Placeholder for the shop, opening soon

Welcome, Dear Fellows on this journey,

Favorite Quote

"But the dreamers of the day are dangerous people, for they think their dreams into reality with eyes wide open." - TE Lawrence

Please Follow & Share!

Available on Amazon:

Plotting Your Novel with the Plot Clock

Available on Amazon

Little Quotes by Little Folks

Please Follow & Share!

From My Instagram

tialevingswriter

“I have done nothing all summer but wait for mys

“I have done nothing all summer but wait for myself to be myself again.” — Georgia O’keeffe.

I read that this morning and it struck me as prayer: confessional, relieving, quenching, honest. August was the longest month. It always is—but for an outdoor spirit clutched indoors, in a summer of rain, in a summer of steam, battling depression—August has been a length of days that left me searching for words.

Somehow, it’s uncharacteristically “cool” in Florida early in September, without a hurricane to blame. I can sit outside and breathe again.

I wonder what context surrounds this quote. Was her body struggling like mine? Was her mind searching like mine? Was her art gasping? Were her words often dancing out of reach?

I finally found my words this week, like iron to anemic blood, and woke up early again. I found gratitude. I stepped barefoot in the grass and saw the crescent moon last night. I’ve waited for myself to be myself again and it feels so good to know I’m here.

#georgiaokeefe #feelinglikemyselfagain #mirenaiud #depressionandanxiety #summertimesadness #perimenopause #traumahealing #wildwoman #outsidelife #moonchild #grounding #walkbarefoot #openheart #seasonschange #writerslife #memoirwriting #creativewriter #geogiaokeeffe

I get lost in favorites, shamelessly absorbing mys

I get lost in favorites, shamelessly absorbing myself in them until I’ve touched or listened or tasted inside out, upside down, and every which way. If I love it, I’m gonna get to KNOW it. Such is @covenhoven IV, on repeat, on various sound systems, ordered on vinyl, and throughly dished with fellow poetic music loving friends.

In other words, I’ve just told you I’m an enneagram 4 without…. Wait. Never mind.

This lyric is one of many that makes me cry. It’s on the song Last One Click.

Joel sings like the broken-hearted. Like one who’s journeyed far. Like one who’s deconstructed broken promises down to the truth that’s at the bottom.

Have you listened yet? The middle of the album is my favorite, what I call the Salt-sea-gods-chair-cursive-last-click sequence. Why is my last 15 years in these chords and harmonies? HOW are they?

All I know is that it’s art. I hope he fucking wins every Grammy that an album can. That’s my review.

#albumreview #andthegrammygoesto #indiefolkmusic #indiefolk #poeticlyrics #religioustrauma #spiritualawakening #spirituality #songsforthebrokenhearted #covenhoveniv #covenhoven #musicartist #angels #deconstruction #deconstructed #churchtoo

I remember the day I sat across from a Christian c

I remember the day I sat across from a Christian counselor in hopes of saving my marriage. There stood behind him a wall of books and a certificate hung on the wall, but he was a pastor with a agenda to uphold his view of scripture, not a licensed professional required to prioritize my safety.

He was the first human I told the whole truth of my marriage. The abuse, the pain, the danger. He listened to it all and then told me to go home and be a more godly wife.

I left his office devastated, ears ringing with shock. I stayed in my marriage and worked hard as instructed. Three years later I was nearly killed.

I’m passionate when it comes to trauma survivors receiving ethical care in safe spaces. And don’t get me wrong—coaches can be awesome. But if you choose a coach over a therapist, make sure they’re trained and adhere to some standard of external accountability. (A great model is @traumaresolutionandrecovery)

Look your coach up and see how they conduct themselves online. In public. With others, when there’s no payment involved. This information all matters and can save you heartache later. Nobody needs more trauma inflicted on them while in recovery, especially by green, untrained, or reckless “helpers.”

#traumacoach #traumatherapist #christiancounseling #counseling #therapy #embodimentcoach #traumasurvivor #domesticviolencesurvivor #traumaawareness #religioustrauma

Let me tell you something about these boots from @

I have been lost. Writing and wandering through da

I have been lost. Writing and wandering through days where I overheard their conversations with my arms raised to the clothesline, with my fingers pressed in bread dough. I’ve excavated sharp memories. Writing when I should be walking or eating, reading when I should be sleeping. It’s like swimming underwater.

How is writing such time travel? Why will the transport not let me smell them or feel their skin? That day I grabbed the camera. Didn’t make them turn and smile. I snapped it to ground myself in time and I moved on. In 2000 it would be weeks before I had the film developed and saw how it turned out. I slid the loaves into the oven. I gathered another load for the wash. Went and checked on the baby.

I wrote of mother-ember today. Of what burns inside even after they’ve grown. I held this moment in my heart without the camera—the photo is for you.

#emptynest #emptynestmoms #memoirwriting #documentaryphotography #documentyourdays #whenwewereyoung #motherhooddiaries

It’s time for a new project. One hundred days

It’s time for a new project.

One hundred days from now is December 22. I’m partial to hundred day projects—I just finished my second go at #100happydays and have been pining for another. My friend Carly started #100daysproject yesterday and invited participants. That was an easy yes!

We set our own criteria. This time I’m treating it like a countdown. I’m in the midst of final (ha!) revisions for my memoir on church-sanctioned domestic violence and I want to be done by December. I also want my screenplay done (a Christmas rom-com with a sprinkle of “burn the patriarchy down”) and 3 short stories. Everything is underway and this is a totally attainable goal—IF I stay focused.

So the goal: 100 days of mindful effort and progress as I count down to December 22 and a satisfying catalog of work completed. I’ll post something related every day.

What you see here: the books, teachers and experiences that informed my memoir. When the book is done, these books burn. Winter solstice is December 21 and a fire Christmas week sounds lovely, doesn’t it?

@carlywheelehan #100dayschallenge #religioustrauma #writinggoals #writingmemoir #amwriting #exevangelical #churchabuse #spiritualabuse #billgothard #iblp #dougphillips #visionforum #federalism #covenantmarriage #domesticviolence #excellentwife #tradwife #dougwilson #michaelpearl #purityculture

“No more writing, Mom.” — Georgia #writers

“No more writing, Mom.” — Georgia

#writersdog #blackwingpencil #firesidechat #fireside #amwriting #savethecat #blackwings

It took years to realize I was safe, even though e

It took years to realize I was safe, even though every day I was. My body got stuck in flight response. Long after I no longer had to fight, I still responded with fawn. I could trigger into fight preemptively, because I was brittle and anxious. Being caught in a trauma response is like drinking cortisol instead of coffee. It’s sleeping with one eye open. It’s assuming the worst of everyone around you. It’s never resting and trusting, “I’m safe now.”

But there came a day when I sat on the ground and realized I was, in fact, safe. I no longer had to warn the children or live on hyper-alert. I could let go of sweaty red-faced anger and high anxiety. My boundary fence was consistently respected. My floors were stable stone and warm hardwood. And it was time to look in the mirror.

In the abuse dynamic, it truly takes two to tango. Narcissists are precise manipulators, skilled when it comes to attracting sweet and grateful personalities who won’t stand up for themselves. The cycle will continue until one of them breaks it.

Gabby’s abuser broke it by killing her. I broke it when I broke free. I stood up for myself.

When abuse is over, reactivity is what lingers. It’s hard work to untangle. And utterly worth the peace that follows.

Read the rest at Dear Fellow. Link in bio.

Day 12 of #100dayproject towards my completed memoir, screenplay draft, and 3 short stories.

#narcissisticabuse #narcissist #gabbypetito #domesticviolence #religioustrauma #traumahealing #cptsdrecovery #reactiveabuse #reactivity #hypervigilance #anxiety #toxicrelationships #turntheothercheek #marriagecounseling #traumaresponse

Yesterday, a boy my children knew in our homeschoo

Yesterday, a boy my children knew in our homeschooling world died of suicide.

Sometimes, it easy to get so caught up in projects, arguments, hashtags, click bait and keywords that I lose sight of individual toll. Both my own and others’. Fundamentalism kills. Bad theology kills. Rigid rules and sheltered secrets kill. Shame kills. Poverty of both resource and mindset accumulate into desperation that feels insurmountable.

All that pain takes a toll. Trauma runs deeper than memes on social media.

The children of IBLP, Vision Forum, and so many other fundamentalist religious homeschooling groups suffered in invisible silence. There were no mandatory reporters. And when they grow up and make their escape—the one their parents denied them—where do they go to heal?

Why am I writing this in past tense? It’s still happening right now. The Duggar’s still make national news. A multitude never will. This is, actually, why I write my book. Why I’ll pay the price of that exposure. If it helps just one mother get out before her children pay that toll another day.

My story feels heavy today, heavy with the parts I left out. That boy’s eyes always held heavy truth. He was sweet and kind. A little wild. Quiet. His mother loved him. She tried so hard. We all did. I pray his memory will be eternal.

Day 8 of #100dayproject

#fundamentalismsucks #exevangelical #christianfundamentalism #billgothard #iblp #lifeafterhomeschool #visionforum #religioustrauma #suicideawareness #exmo #duggars #conservativewomen #homeschool #homeschoooling

I’m in the deep trenches of my memoir, so close

I’m in the deep trenches of my memoir, so close to the end I can almost taste it, so far from the end that it’s beyond my straining fingertips. And from that vantage point, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and blinded, like I’ll be writing memoir (and THIS memoir) forever. That my screenplay and short fiction and novel starts will never get my undivided attention.

Then the book mail arrives and I stack them up. These friends all have some overlapping themes—and they are not memoir! Seeing them here, gorgeous and completed, waiting to be read, gives me great hope—for hours of reading, for genres beyond memoir, for multifaceted ways to explore a theme. Now, to clone myself so I can get it all done 😉.

Cultish by @amanda_montell

Truth Be Told by @katelizabee

Unwell Women by @elinorcleghorn

Jane of Battery Park by @jaye_viner

Gather the Daughters by @jenniemelamed

Never Saw You Coming by @erinhahn_author

#bookmail #readingtime #toberead #tbrpile #cultish #truthbetold #unwellwomen #gatherthedaughters #neversawyoucoming #purityculture #religioustrauma #domesticviolence #narcissisticabuse #misdiagnosis #womensfiction #memoirwriters #memoirwriting #womenauthors

Load More... Follow on Instagram

Search

Home
News & Work
The Dear Fellow Letters
The Working Writer Podcast
Blog
Contact

Copyright Tia Levings, 2021