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"But the dreamers of the day are dangerous people, for they think their dreams into reality with eyes wide open." - TE Lawrence

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Plotting Your Novel with the Plot Clock

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Little Quotes by Little Folks

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From My Instagram

tialevingswriter

My book is on her publishing path and things are r

My book is on her publishing path and things are ramping up! Next up is the publishers meeting and cover design. So many fun details ahead! So much hard work behind.

You can now sign up for book-related updates and launch news. Pre-orders are still a way off and I get so many questions about release. This is the best way to be sure you don’t miss a single update. Link in bio @tialevingswriter

I’m beginning to plan the pre-order and launch events now. If you’re interested in hosting a large event, promoting the book, or placing a bulk order for your book club, drop me a DM or reply to your welcome email here.

Early readers have called my book “an earthquake.” Exciting as that is, it’s your heartfelt messages of support, solidarity, and courage that have kept me pressing ahead. Thanks to everyone eager to read my story and proves to younger me that I was never alone. ❤️

#awelltrainedwife #smashthepatriarchy #fundies #exevangelical #booknews #iblp #memoirwriting #traumarecovery #religioustrauma #bookclubselection #toberead

Did you know indecisiveness is a symptom of ADHD,

Did you know indecisiveness is a symptom of ADHD, depression, and PTSD? But it’s also baked into fundie life for girls. So detangling it in recovery is complicated.

My process started unraveling when I was in my thirties. I was stuck in a conundrum: it was very difficult (paralyzing) to make small decisions for myself like choosing a restaurant while dating my second husband. But I’d also become very controlling about little shit that didn’t matter much, like how the spoons were put in the dishwasher. I didn’t know how I could be called controlling when I had such a hard time making up my mind. But therapy teased up the roots:

Because I had so little autonomy or agency over my own life and choices in fundamentalism, and humans need a sense of control (somewhere) to feel secure, I’d gone into a kind of panicked hyperdrive over small things within my acceptable “realm.” This often happens to women, where running a household or parenting is an acceptable outlet for high control, which then masks the underlying cause of why she’s so fired up about why how the towels are folded matter.

Healthy, secure individuals with autonomy and agency don’t obsess about small shit because they’re free to make choices about their beliefs, relationships, pursuits and behaviors. They don’t control others because they respect the autonomy and agencies of others.

Today, I can tell you where I want to eat. I decide who to (and if) I pray. I make decisions about where I live, who with, what color gets painted on the wall. I realize I want to write and clear space in my day to write. As a result, I don’t care how the spoons get loaded—if someone helped load them, I say thank you. I have the quad: ADHD, depression, CPTSD, and religious trauma. Sometimes, what’s complicated, boils down to something simple: girls deserve to be free.

To get more on what it’s really like in Christian patriarchy, grab my free FUNDIE CHEATSHEET, link in bio @tialevingswriter

#duggars #19kids #19kidsandcounting #saved #quiverfull #religioustrauma #exmo #traumarecovery #traumaresponse #adultadhd #adhd #cptsd #indecisive #makedecisions #whatsfordinner #highcontrol #controlling

My story is in this story. The Duggars were part o

My story is in this story. The Duggars were part of a system, an institution that spread with tendrils and tentacles through evangelical churches. Carefully curated and high control, the lifestyle taught by Bill Gothard and his devotees took over my family. It condoned, sanctioned and nourished abuse in plain sight, and on TV, horror came with cute jingles and a perky narrator. Those within learned to suffer in silence, with smiles on our faces. It’s a relief now to say this quiet part out loud.

Last year, when I went to Savannah to film my section, I was grateful to be in a city I feel psychologically safe in. Savannah is part of my story too. It’s books and art, history and love. The day after I filmed I walked through Bonaventure Cemetery and meditated on one of my favorite healing mantras: there is more ahead than all that’s been. It’s time for reclamation and power.

Shiny Happy People is threaded together with survivors. Our stories are hard but worth sharing—because suffering silent ones will see it. Our former selves will hear us say it. That’s worth pushing through the discomfort that comes.

June 2 on Amazon Prime. I’ll be sharing related reels in my stories.

To get more on what it’s really like in Christian Fundamentalist culture grab my free FUNDIE CHEATSHEET, link in bio @tialevingswriter

#shinyhappypeople #duggars #19kidsandcounting #countingon #jilldillard #quiverfull #fundies #fundiesnark #behindthescenes #filming #documentary #amazonoriginals #iblp #billgothard #culty

Thank you so much for your wonderful and kind note

Thank you so much for your wonderful and kind notes after these installments. I save every single one and I’m so grateful you’re on this journey with me. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

***

The sound of the zipper on Maud sounded bound and determined, which is what you want a heavy-duty zipper on a pack stuffed with over fifty pounds of clothes and shoes and toiletries to sound like. I’ve got this, says a strong zipper. It won’t rip and leave you hanging.

I hefted her up and went outside to wait for the car.

I wanted to go home.

(To keep reading, sign up for IF BY SEA, my free serial travelogue. Link in bio.)

* Sign up at TiaLevings.com/story to enter the workflow (link in bio). You’ll get one issue a day until you’re current

* About once a week I’ll share a photo with the opening paragraph of the chapter

* That week’s serial + photos will release via email

* Check back here for the travel reel!

* Stories come down June 1

12 (ish) chapters, 4 countries, over 3 months. A different kind of journey, a different kind of healing.

#travelogue #traumahealing #divorcerecovery #solotravel #slowtravel #writingadventures #memoir #serial #dover #englishchannel #homesick

I get messages about trad and patriarchy accounts

I get messages about trad and patriarchy accounts daily, and usually avoid any kind of individual call out. This one served as a great example of the silencing women experience as they become more vocal in the patriarchy: as long as they tote the party line, it’s ok. But even then, the fan base will react more positively to a man saying it than a woman. And then comes this “huh?” If the message is equal, why is there pushback when a woman says it?

A few reasons, all related to the patriarchy itself.

🔨 patriarchy centers men. Therefore, if a man says it, he’s respected, and if a woman says it, it’s seen as optional cheerleading

🔨 women oppressing other women is a particular betrayal that denies shared pain. And while taking down the system and leadership may feel impossible, taking out other women is what we’re taught to do

🔨 the patriarchy is full of smart, powerful, competent women doing their best to excel within their padded confines. When they rise, when they exercise their ambition, they threaten the system.

Ultimately, that “ministry” towards women will meet a quiet end. The system that silences, silences everyone but the ones at the top, and that’s how it goes in every patriarchal system. That’s why so much time is spent teaching underlings to embrace silence, to submit to it, to find it part of one’s spirituality. They don’t want your wisdom and strength—they’re using it temporarily.

To the original post that inspired this: countless women have been harmed by the teaching that to deny your husband seggsually is a sin. It’s a teaching and belief that bears bruised and broken fruit. If that’s your message, maybe it’s time to listen to survivors, so you can see who your message is truly benefiting.

If you’ve been harmed by messages such as that one, I recommend following @sheilagregoire because you deserve better.

To learn more about the abuses in Christian Patriarchy grab my free FUNDIE CHEATSHEET, link in bio @tialevingswriter

#marriageadvice #smashthepatriarchy #patriarchy #handmaidstale #dearsister #womensupportingwomen #religioustrauma #tradwife #useyourvoice #silenttreatment #offred #fawning

The video I did explaining Michelle Duggar’s art

The video I did explaining Michelle Duggar’s artificially high and trained vocal behavior continues to go viral. So many of you have aha connections. And then there’s the folks who insist the training doesn’t exist, isn’t rooted in books like Fascinating Womanhood (and it’s descendants), or is isolated to one family.

So I couldn’t resist a little compilation when @itsrowsdower shared the IBLP calendar commercial with me. In the whole clip, “Esther” uses the baby voice for the most part, until she dips into a lower register to say “good character doesn’t just happen.” It’s a great example of how her vocal chords are just fine, and capable of an adult register, and yet she uses the baby voice to keep sweet and sell.

To get more on what’s really up in Christian Fundamentalism grab my free FUNDIE CHEATSHEET, link bio @tialevingswriter

#duggars #michelleduggar #babytalk #keepsweet #vocaltraining #fundies #religioustrauma #exevangelical #iblp #wisdombooklets #wisdomcalender #quiverfull #countingon #trad #tonepolicing #voicetraining #thevoice

Sarah, Nippy, Daniella and I have been in conversa

Sarah, Nippy, Daniella and I have been in conversation this month and we’ve decided to keep it rolling. The 2-part episode of @alittlebitculty with daniellamyoung_ is up now and mine is coming later this month. But this Thursday, May 11, we’re doing a group call in the ALBC Patreon group.

Sign up with the ALBC link in bio @alittlebitculty and you’ll be sent the zoom link

#culty #uncultured #cultmemoir #thevow #religioustrauma

Friends, if you’ve ever clicked on a reel of min

Friends, if you’ve ever clicked on a reel of mine about the abuses sheltered in high control religion, please pay attention to the 7th slide.

Today is #dayofthehomeschooledchild

As a former homeschooler who loved those years with my children, we witnessed so much abuse in homes exploiting freedom to neglect and abuse their kids. And as a fundamentalist overwhelmed with the quiverful lifestyle, I fell to neglectful education as well. Kids deserve better. Freedom isn’t a binary—there are protocols that can protect children and well-meaning parents, both.

I hope you’ll click through and sign the Bill of Rights.

#religioustrauma #homeschool #homeed #quiverfull #fundies #exevangelical #invisiblechildren #domesticabuse #domesticabuseawareness @responsiblehomeschooling

I have this habit now I call “No Meeting Mondays

I have this habit now I call “No Meeting Mondays.” It’s my commitment to myself to allow for a gentle introduction to the week, to get organized, respond to anything still flapping around from Friday, and breathe before the big push of another week. I came up with it when I was looking for ways to protect my fried and frayed nervous system after years of narcissistic abuse and high control systems, of which both capitalism and the previous administration exacerbate.

Patterns. I’ve come trust them. Because while I’m not a clinician who can diagnose anyone, I am a trauma survivor who can recognize a pattern. How something feels in my body. Where there’s pressure and manipulation. Where my resistance is essential.

So it is with the news cycle. Mister Man just served a reminder of how his team works. It’s the similar to how doomy pastors prophesy our persecution but then create an isolating environment of weird estrangement where their words come true. And similar to how an abuser will back his victim into a corner where they’re forced to make a bad choice (as the only choice) and then blame them for making a bad choice. These are puppet masters. Our resistance is essential.

We can look over their heads to the chaos they’re hiding. In Florida, Ronny D has everyone scrambling about trans issues and culture wars so we won’t look at weapon laws, the economy, climate change, etc. It took an army of children to convince Billy Lee in Tennessee to take a break from drag and hear what the people want: safety. I opted out of the indictment circus (we can opt out of their crazy) the same way I refuse to listen to their “news.” Which, in my body’s memory, feels exactly like opting out of apologetics in Calvinism, and fundamentalism when I left the IBLP.

To get more on the realities in Christian Fundamentalism grab my free FUNDIE CHEATSHEET, link in bio @tialevingswriter.

*temp: Slides will be in stories for those who can’t hold to read.

#narcissisticabuse #chaos #hypervigilance #highcontrol #religioustrauma #narcissist #eggshells #traumasurvivor #nervoussystemregulation #nervoussystem #nervoussystemhealing

Christian women know adult men find children seggu

Christian women know adult men find children seggually attractive because that training is deeply steeped in our culture as influenced through stealth teaching like what’s in Fascinating Womanhood.

An influence without most people even knowing it’s name. A crumpled paperback on mom’s old book shelf. A handmedown from woman to woman over coffee. Like The Excellent Wife (and Martha Peace had to be influenced by FW too) Fascinating Womanhood promises to solve hurting and abusive marriages and help women who feel unloved by training them to subjugate, submit, and become sweet, childlike servant angels their husbands will adore.

Sounds abhorrent, right? But the market was codependent people pleasers desperate to remain married. So even smart women learned to soften their voices, stifle their laughter, coo, purr, and ask big Daddy for permission for everything.

The worst part is that it works. When my then mother in law gave it to me, I used it to find ways to appeal to my abusive husband, her son. It was first of many small deaths that bred more abuse, disrespect and dysfunction, and it why being free has required I learn to first respect myself. Women are complicit in patriarchal systems. We’ve helped nurture generations of men who won’t take women seriously (and worse.) We can be complicit in the change, too.

More FW facts and slides are in my highlights. To get more on what it’s really like in Christian Fundamentalism grab my free FUNDIE CHEATSHEET, link in bio @tialevingswriter

#fascinatingwomanhood #biblicalwomanhood #childlike #religioustrauma #vocaltraining #voicetraining #keepsweet #exmo #exevangelical #fundies #duggars #michelleduggar #marilynmonroe #babydoll #complicity #grooming #culty #excellentwife #spiritualtrauma #skydaddy

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