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The truth is that life gets bigger outside of fund

The truth is that life gets bigger outside of fundamentalism.

It’s more colorful, diverse, interesting, fascinating, mysterious, expansive and amazing. Instead of the same ten topics and a pressure to convince and save my listener, I can converse, listen myself, leave, learn.

As a fundie, my world was the inside of my home. The teaching of my church. My Bible. The 2000 years of Judeo-Christian history. 7 day creation. Miracles then but not now. Answers for the mystery of the divine and the universe. The same handful of friends who lived and looked just like me. The same small list of permitted books, films, vacation spots, jobs.

It didn’t feel safer. It felt restrictive and dull. Tedious and boring. Oatmeal without toppings. Milk left on the table to spoil. Gross. Boring. Small.

Leaving is an opening that keeps opening, because life and this world are beautiful. Creative solutions can be sought. Fear fades away.

Read more at The Anti-Fundamentalist, my substack—tialevings.substack.com, link in bio @tialevingswriter

Paid subscribers get my weekly personal essay and roundup, the Density of Ideas, plus full access to the archives. Thanks for supporting my work!

#worldview #lifeisbeautiful #fundies #fundiesnark #afterthecult #cultrecovery #traumarecovery #religioustrauma #fundamentalism #diversitymatters #colormyworld #learnsomethingnew #broadenyourhorizons

Taking this trip has been the most anti-fundamenta

Taking this trip has been the most anti-fundamentalist, life and worth affirming choice of my life. This segment came so late after the seventh installment because the shifts I experienced required more processing time than I expected, maybe because it’s Italy, maybe because I’m here for the second time. But writing a living memoir is an experiment with lessons along the way, and this was one of them.

You can still sign up to receive IF BY SEA. There will 10 installments, total. This is the 8th. When you sign up you’ll get one a day until you’re current. TiaLevings.com/story

Link in bio @tialevingswriter

#travelogue #solotravel #eatpraylove #antifundamentalist #exfundie #exmo #exvangelical #shinyhappypeopledoc #shinyhappypeople #iblp #traumahealing #slowtravel #catania #sicily #travelwriter

Sometimes my homeschool days did look ideal. The k

Sometimes my homeschool days did look ideal. The kids would wake up sweetly and no one would be sick. They’d eat breakfast, clean up and get dressed. We’d pray and have Bible time, work on handwriting, math, and reading early, while they felt fresh. They’d take a break and play in the background, all of them getting along, while I made lunch. Everyone ate and the little ones would nap while the olders read. I napped too. Then we’d do science or history, art or music, depending on the day. Then they’d play freely while I made dinner. After daddy got home they’d have catechism and Latin while I took care of the babies. Bed by 7:30.

Those idyllic days were real and happened about two or three times a month. The rest of the time there was undiagnosed ADHD, sibling issues, late readers, tears over math, days destroyed with appointments, sniffles and vomit, Mt. Laundry, chores and home projects, “unschooling,” chronic depression, and always—the undercurrent of eggshells and abuse.

When you homeschool, there’s no where to catch a break. When you homeschool in high control religion, even wanting a break is a sin. Change your attitude, persevere, suffer well—there’s no option for anything else.

And so moms would cry in the closet so their kids wouldn’t see. We joked about it, normalizing that we were struggling so much to uphold this ideal that we were overwhelmed and miserable. But if all of us felt it, didn’t that make it normal?

I can tell you I didn’t cry in the closet over the impossibility of my circumstance, alone and bereft, after I left fundamentalism. There were always options—friends who’d encourage me and help me think creatively, other options, therapists. Today, if a woman tells me she’s crying in her closet I’m worried for her. It’s information that says something isn’t working. You’re being consumed to uphold an unrealistic ideal, mama. You need someone to see and hear you, and if no one will, then YOU see and hear you. Listen to yourself. It’s ok. Whatever you’re afraid will happen if you can’t keep going is likely not as likely as you think.

#homeschool #christianhomeschool #classicalconversations #unschooling #duggars #19kidsandcounting

Jill and Jinger’s books are different, and the r

Jill and Jinger’s books are different, and the reader takeaway is as well. I contrasted the two and explored this question I was asked about them over on The Anti-Fundamentalist.

The Anti-Fundamentalist is linked in bio @tialevingswriter

More chat coming on Counting the Cost on Tuesday’s episode of @wisejezebelspod

#duggars #fundiesnark #fundies #19kidsandcounting #quiverfull #shinyhappypeople #jillduggar #jinger #freejinger #iblp #fundamentalism #bookreviews #religioustrauma #traumarecovery

I’ve been doing this new thing on Substack—a S

I’ve been doing this new thing on Substack—a Sunday morning personal essay and collection of what’s feeding my mind—books, music, poetry (today is @j.warren.welch) and nature. Being behind a tiny paywall is offering me creative space to stretch and reflect in ways I don’t here in fundie-education land, but that are no less valuable to my healing journey, and I hope for yours as well.

Get it by becoming a paid subscriber to The Anti-Fundamentalist, tialevings.substack.com. Link in bio @tialevingswriter

Today’s cover image was from a quiet Sunday afternoon a few years ago with my dog, Savannah. She was a rescued fox hound I nursed through heart worm treatment. She passed two years ago after developing a neurological disorder. Savannah had anxiety too, and she always knew when I needed her gentle paw on my thigh. I held her shaking body through so many storms. Cried the day she openly ran after that difficult heart protocol. She’s not the subject of today’s brief essay but her spirit informed it.

#traumahealing #stillness #personalgrowth #religioustrauma #memoirist #foxhounds #therapyanimals #poetry #roundups #sundaymorning #thingstoreadagain

This piece of wisdom, passed woman to woman until

This piece of wisdom, passed woman to woman until it reached me via @ashleighrenard is flipping my mindset —from deep anxiety about the uncertainty I feel with the next few months to calm reassurance that everything is coming together for my good.

I often journal or use vision boards to manifest what I’m hoping for, and use meditative prayer for gratitude. But this exercise is impacting my nervous system in a very different way. I’m transformed from the lingering fear and pessimism carried over from high control religion and able to sit in calm knowing that I’m doing the work, and all will be well.

If you like it too, be sure to pass it on.

#anxietytips #traumahealing #futurecasting #manifesting #healinganxiety #nervoussystemregulation #adaptation #religioustrauma #deconstruction #exevangelical #exmo #morningpages #dontworry #dontworrydarling

Did Michelle Duggar take an abortion pill? No. B

Did Michelle Duggar take an abortion pill?

No. But the way she tells the story of her early miscarriage makes it sound that way. She uses it to cajole women into becoming quiverful—refusing contraception so God can determine family size.

This pill story pre-dates Michelle’s fame. It’s the same fear-mongering rumor whispered among the followers of Bill Gothard’s Institute of Basic Life Principles (IBLP): birth control pills will kill your baby.

But the IBLP doesn’t just want big families because children are a blessing. Nor because they’re like flowers or arrows. They want big families for dominion. And because it’s nearly impossible to sustain a modern quiverful according to what we know child need and cost and deserve, women like Michelle streamline the childhood they offer their kids.

I share part of my own experience in this piece on Substack, link in bio @tialevingswriter

Want me to speak to your group about realities in fundamentalism and how to guard against them? I’m filling my Q4 calendar now. DM for inquiries.

#duggars #quiverfull #19kids #19kidsandcounting #fundies #religioustrauma #parentification #babywise #ezzo #sleeptraining #contraception #underhiseye #shinyhappypeople #iblp #billgothard #takesavillage

Announcing my AF Book Club! It’s Tia’s BOOK YE

It’s time to check that fruit! Check out our (

It’s time to check that fruit! Check out our (@tialevingswriter and @drlauraeanderson ) fun new project—THE WISE JEZEBELS! …a podcast where we talk about headlines and pop culture with religious roots, discuss the wisdom we’ve learned since leaving religion, answer your questions and share how we are navigating life post-religion.

Our first episode drops on September 19, 2023 wherever you listen to podcasts!

But before that, we want to hear from you! What are the questions you have for us? Drop your questions or topics you want us to discuss as a comment below and we may answer them on the pod! Stay fresh betches!

#fundamentalism #exfundie #fundies #fundiesnark #exvangelical #exmo #ewjw #exfundamentalist #religioustrauma #podcastsforwomen #religioustraumahealing #wisejezebels

Dominionism teaches that Christians are meant to t

Dominionism teaches that Christians are meant to take over the world—that it’s their God-given, biblical mandate to bring every person, belief, lifestyle, and practice into submission to their way. When dominionists, which make up the majority influence in evangelicism and Christian fundamentalism, get into politics, they pass laws that protect their own religious freedoms and deny anyone who disagrees. They do this without empathy or humanitarian sway. They don’t care who hurts—the goal is to dominate, period. This is why they don’t care about democracy except to defeat it.

If you’ve run into Christian leadership that seems intolerant of anyone else’s viewpoint or experience, that dominionism at work. Book bans? Dominionism. On the outside, we call it fascism and authoritarianism, but they don’t understand those words. They believe God gave them the best way and it’s their job, duty, and right to bring society under their control. They believe they’re benevolent, and that society will heal if we do what they say.

I only know how to fight it on the individual level, which starts within my own heart. By loving people before ideas. By respecting others’ autonomy and right to the pursuit of happiness. By voting. Being an ally. Advocating for survivors. Dominionists have a lot of power in the US, but they are not the majority yet. You can still respect their seat at the table without allowing them to sit at the head.

To learn more about what it’s really like in Christian Fundamentalism, grab my free FUNDIE CHEATSHEET. My story of escape, A WELL-TRAINED WIFE, comes out August 2024. Sign up for updates or get the CHEATSHEET with link in bio @tialevingswriter

#fundies #dominion #dominionism #nationalism #patriarchy #smashthepatriarchy #gilead #evangelicism #exevangelical #exvangelical #exmo #7mountains #iblp #christianfundamentalism #religioustrauma #ahandmaidstale #religiousfreedom #progressivechristianity #pluralism #protectdemocracy

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